On My Mind...

While it's clear to me...

More than anything, I want to fall in love. And I want it to work. I want to be head-over-heels with someone I'm truly attracted to and comfortable with; someone who will be my helper and who will bring me closer to God than I could ever get on my own. In spite of all the other relationships I see around me crumbling, I have total, unflinching faith in a successful, monogamous, Godly relationship with a special woman.

Second to that, I want to make an impact in this world that I can feel; something to let me know I'm doing all that I can. And I never want to feel that there's nothing I can do to get through to someone. ...Yet I know it's going to happen one day; honestly, it's happening even as I speak. In such case, I ask that my feelings be proven DEAD wrong in the end.

At 26-going-on-27, I want to fulfil my role as a stable man. But I want to do so without compromising my commitment to changing the world. I don't want to live a life surrounded by a 'white-picket-fence'; I want to be useful and active wherever I am. I want my family safe and secure, but I don't want to be isolated or disconnected from the people. I want to have enough provision to keep my family comfortable, but enough also to lend a hand to whoever might be in need around me.

As a teacher, I want to keep my students--- my kids--- as happy as can be; the ones who make my day easier with their hard work, love, creativity, and respect. And especially the ones who come to school every day just to escape the hardships they find at home. ...And, yes, even some of the clowns who give me hell in 6th period. Because, if I was in their shoes--- lacking the right kind of influences, the right kind of foundational values--- I'd probably act ignant too. Also, may I continue to have the time and freedom to spend with my kids, on and off campus, to help them develop into better people.

And--- not to say that teaching isn't my calling--- but I'd like the freedom and assets to delve into other mediums as well. I'm a musician and a writer when I'm not on campus, and I'd like to be able to maximize my potential in those two areas as much, if not more, than in teaching. I enjoy them, get a lot of personal satisfaction from them, and find them to be constant challenges to my creativity and expressive ability.

Overall, I want to carve out a lifestyle where I can be of Godly influence and good use to my wife, my children, my students, and my community. And I want to manage things well enough that I don't overwhelm myself, but instead grow up rooted in strength like my dad and my grandfather and my uncles and cousins.

...That felt good. I don't pray like I should, and when I do pray, I often can't think of what to pray for. This list should make a good reference point from now on.

Sumn like dat.